Twas the night before Christmas and Santa did frown,
Cos Rudolph the Reindeer was not to be found,
Santa went to the kitchen, to see if he was getting some grub,
Where an elf told him kindly, “Rudolph’s gone to the pub!”
“He’s gone where?” shouted Santa, but it’s now Christmas Eve!
“This is totally horrendous, I cannot believe!
I can just see it now, we’ll be off on our way,
When we’re pulled by the police, for being drunk in a sleigh!”
Rudolph down at the pub, raised his glass in good cheer,
Went up to the bar, ordered one more last beer,
Then another and another till he drank the place dry,
With a stagger and a wobble, he then bid his goodbye.
Santa was frantic – it was ten to eleven,
So, he got on his knees, sent a prayer up to heaven,
“Dear Father above us, please answer my prayer,
Send Rudolph back sober and end this nightmare.”
But God wasn’t in, he’d gone out for the night,
And Rudolph came back, looking a terrible sight,
“Hey Santa’ there’s two of you!” He said seeing double,
And Santa knew then he was in for some trouble.
Santa looked at the clock with his hands on his hips,
Rudolph having black coffee and aspirin through drips,
“Sober up there young Rudolph, you’ve a big job to do,
The children of the world are all counting on you!”
Rudolph looked very sheepish, he knew Santa was right,
Fancy getting so drunk on this magical night,
So, he sobered his mind and as much as was able,
Stood up on all fours and walked out to the stable.
The other reindeers were shouting, “Rudolph we must dash!”
They’d seen him before when he’d been out on the lash,
But all the children were now safely tucked up in bed,
With dreams of Santa and presents swirling round in their heads.
The sleigh was stood loaded, with presents piled high,
When Rudolph was harnessed, it took off to the sky,
Soon the job was all done but the margins were slender,
And that was the last time, Rudolph went on a bender!
By Elle Armstrong.